Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
