He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
