I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize