nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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