she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
