I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
50% drunk capacity currently
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
