So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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