PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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