508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what day is it and did you see me today?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
