Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
