Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
