the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize