Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
