just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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