no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
