I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
