He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
