She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im holly from the hills drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
