What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
