Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
