I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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