a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
