I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So much rum. So many feels.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
