dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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