The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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