I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize