the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
