He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
