i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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