I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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