he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
