you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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