You work out of a Hotel?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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