I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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