My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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