If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm like, not good at living.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
