Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
