I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
