"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
