We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
