And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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