the day after is always just damage control
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
