i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize