even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
