glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
