ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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