im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Someone shattered a urinal.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
