my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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