awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
