apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
