Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
