Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
