I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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