you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we're making bets on your personal life
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
