Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
