don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
