Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize