hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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