You just made me feel so damn special
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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