I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
