sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
