i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
